I Believe

  That People Who Feel that they Have to Cheat to Win Are In It for the Wrong Reasons

  That it is Perfectly Sane to Own 5 of the Same Car for Different Tracks/Temperatures/Surfaces

  that Anodized Aluminum Parts are Cool

  that Adonized Aluminum Parts are Overrated

  That an R/C Show on Network TV Would be a Great Success

  That my R/C Car is Faster than my Real Car

  That My R/C Collection is Worth More than my 1/1 Car

  That I'd Rather Surf R/C Sites than Porn Sites Anyday

I Collect

  Used Motor Brushes

  Pinion Gears

  Car Bodies that are Autographed by Nationally Recognized Drivers

  All the Parts I've Broken

  All the Parts I've Broken, Even for Cars I Don't Have Anymore

I Have

  Travelled More than Two States Away to Race

  Accounts on at Least Five R/C Message Boards

  Matched my Own Batteries

  Attempted to Secure a Sponsorship

  a Sponsorship

  a Sponsorship with More than One Company

  Used the Phrase, "Rubbin's Racing."

  Used the Phrase, "Hack'n and Whack'n."

  That I Have Developed a Loyalty to a Particular RC Brand

  Purchased a Car Just to Participate in a Manufacturer's Event, Only To Sell It After the Event

  Paid Someone Else To Paint a Body for Me

  Registered a Domain Name Related to R/C

  a Subscription to an R/C Magazine

  More than Five "Watches" on eBay for R/C Related Gear

  Used the Criterion "But Will There Be Room for my Gear" When Purchasing a New Vehicle

  Spent More than $200 on Aluminum and Graphite Hopups for my $90 HPI Micro

  More Than 15 Pairs of Tires with Different Tread Patterns for my Buggy or Truck

  Quit a Job Because it Interfered With My Racing Schedule

  Oil or Grease Spots on the Living Room Floor

  Built My Own Track

  An R/C Poster Hung Anywhere in my Home

  An R/C Sticker on my Real Car

  Memorized My Transponder Numbers - All FOUR of Them!

I Have Been

  to More than 10 Tracks This Year

  To Every Hobby Shop in the Tri-State Region

  a Member of the Tower "Super Savers" Club

  Used the Criterion

  Known to Gaze, Reminiscing, at eBay Auctions for a Frog, Hornet, or Other Vintage Vehicle

  Known to Offer to Buy a Car for a Friend, Just so I Have Someone to Bash with

I Have Read

  Big Jim's Motor Black Book

  Every Post on SixFootTiger.com

  The XXX-Main Setup Secrets Book

I Know

  Directions to at Least 7 Racetracks Off the Top of My Head

  How to Cheat in Stock Without Getting Caught

  The Average Amp Draw and RPM of Most Electric Motors

  The Actual Spring Weights Based on Color, Off the Top of My Head

  More than Five Sponsored Drivers Personally

I Like To

  Hand Glue Tires

  Look Down My Nose at Radio Shack, Tyco and Nikko Products

  Pretend I'm Not Fast, Even Though I KNOW I Am

  Retire my Off-Road Tires After 4 Runs or Less

  Name Each of My Vehicles

  Scout Around Parking Lots and Empty Dirt Lots for Places to Set Up a Track

I Own

  A Motor Dyno

  Over 10 R/C Cars

  Over 20 Battery Packs

  Over 20 Motors

  Enough Cars to Run Every Class at my Track

  Two Turbo35's

  A TurboMatcher

  More than one TurboMatcher

  A Motor Can Zapper

  A Car/Buggy Older than 10 Years Old

  A Car Identical to Another One I Own -- "For Parts"

  A Personal Transponder

  More than Three Personal Transponders

  Tire Warmers

  an R/C Website

  Dedicated Folding Tables and Chairs Just for the Racetrack

  More than Three Different Types of Traction Compound

  A Tire Truer

  Cars in more than Three Classes that They Don't Even Run at Any of my Local Tracks

  A Tamiya F1 or Mini-Cooper

  A Tamiya F1 AND a Mini-Cooper

  a Vinyl Cutter to Make My Own Paint Masks

  A Speedo that is Worth More than the Television in my Living Room

I Remember

  A Time Before Touring Cars

  When Oval Dominated R/C

  When The Johnson 540 Was Fast

  CheckPoint Motors

  When Everyone Used a Two-Stick Radio

  When I wanted (or owned) a Gold-Pan Chassis

  When I called the seasons "summer" and "winter" instead of "outdoor season" and "carpet season"

I Routinely

  Race Twice In A Weekend

  Refer to Myself as a Member of a "Race Team," Whether Real or Imagined

  Argue the Merits of XXX-S vs TC3

  Argue the Merits of XXX vs B3

  Schedule Vacation Trips Around Large R/C Events

  Hide the Actual Cost of New RC Toys from My Significant Other

  Use Simple Green at the Track, but Never at Home

  Get to the Track 3 Hours Early

  Check out Toolboxes and Parts Trays when at the Store, to Check for RC Compatability

  Carry a Glow Plug Around with me - "Just in Case"

  Have Dreams That Involve Racing, the Track, or Wrenching

  Run Beneath 1/8th of a Tank of Gas in my Real Car, but ALWAYS Have Plenty of Nitro

  Take RC Stuff to Work to do "Stealth Wrenching" When my Boss Isn't Looking

  Have a Bunch of R/C Stuff in the Car, Ready... Just in Case!

  Pay Bills Late Because I Need Tires/Fuel/etc. for Race Day

  Eat From a TV Tray Because the Dining Room Table is Covered with Parts/Cars/Etc

I Use

  A "Tweak Station"

  A "Setup Station"

  an Email Address with an R/C Reference in it

  a Recurring Paint Scheme on All of My Cars

  a "Buddy Icon" that is R/C Related

I Want

  A Brushless Motor System

  To Design a Groundbreaking New Car Design

  a Job in the RC Industry

  To Start an RC-Related Company

  A 1/5th Scale Car That Runs on Real Gas (and a Place to Run It)

I Want To (Or Have Been)

  A National Champion

  Someday Have a Signature Model Vehicle

  On RobotWars

  to visit Japan in Order to Get RC Parts at a Discount

I Wear

  An RC Hat, Shirt, Apron When I Race

  A T-Shirt with an RC Logo on it

  A T-Shirt with my Team Logo on it

  A T-Shirt with an RC Logo on it - on Non-Race Days, to Work or School

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